The art of surviving public transports

I am officially now a city-girl because first of all I am living in a place where Gucci and Dior do have their shops (and are not just retailed in big general stores) and second because there is the metro running here. Civilization!

The metro is called U-bahn (like Underground) and is managed by Munich public transportation company: the great MVG . For those who know Munich, I am living in Giesing (south East) and used to work in Garching (nooooooooooooorth) which mean I had the immense pleasure to experience the mv-g services two hours minimum per day. In case I would actually try to do something for my social life (it happens) then it reached the amount of three hours minimum a day. Happily I like to read.

The metro here is pretty much safe, clean and easy to use. I do not think that the bavarian people are aware of how great is the ubahn here... for public transport.

When I compare to all the cities where I had to use the underground… Munich is definitely awesome. Let’s take Paris example, where it is probably the worst place in whole Europe to take the metro. Nonetheless is it complicated, it has no rolling stairs, it is taking hours and very expensive BUT it has also this power to suck out of you any joy or any positive thought. A bit like the Dementors in Harry Potter for those who know. It is ugly, dirty, and full of creepy people. When you are a girl you thank god any time you go out of there without having being touched by strangers’ hands and / or verbally aggressed. Yeah, so much for the City of Love. Prague has like three lines, it is full of pickpockets and i am sorry but it mostly stinks...

I know it is not the most challenging topic ever but taking the underground is a big part of my life, because when you consider things objectively: I take the u-bahn more than i go shopping. Shocking, isn't it?

In the morning, I am très working girl cliché:heels, suit, ipod and coffee to -go. Plus a book, and of course i am trying to do all that in the same time: adding sugar to my coffee without spilling it / breaking the top, turning pages and changing playlists. My neighbours always look at me like i am a mobile danger and i can not really blame them. I would not seat next to me either.

I have to admit even if Munich metro is great, it is still the metro, with all that it implies; you add to that the fact that in the morning i am generally not such a awake or friendly person... Of course, i really enjoy being packed with 3000people in the same metro wagon but sometimes ... people won't get that no one can physically get in anymore. They manage not to see that your face is pressed against the glass, tongue out, giving it this "i just crashed from the 23rd floor" kinda style.

Anyway, i am mostly pissed off in the morning, particularly when i take the metro at 7:45. It is an assumption, but it would probably get better if i did not have to have my nose right under the arm of a sweaty person; all that before 8 and before my first liter of coffee. Just an assumption.

I was way more friendly in the beginning. Little "provinciale", all excited about the metro and still with the education of a rather small town. In the first three weeks, i used to say "hello" to the people i sat next too. they looked at me as a freak, half scared half stunned and probably praying that i am not gonna try to start a conversation. Probably wondered where my Aldi bags where and why i looked clean. After the first month i totally gave up and saw that, no, i would not be the one, bringing some new politeness to the Munich inhabitants.

so now that i have it all worked out, I know that, even if munich metro is great, it is also really really a challgening place if you want to keep cool and be relaxed. so how do you survive in this hostile jungle, will you ask me.

well i used to pick a cute guy in the wagon, and smile at him. the game used to keep me busy for a while and relaxed me. Plus it forced me to smile and think positive. I don t do it anymore, not only because of Boyfriend, but also because you have some real creeps in the u-bahn, and i got really harassed. I decided flirting with strangers is theoretically hot, but not in real life.

Now i have another strategy in case of really full wagon, or really bad day so that it makes the ubahn drive bearable: i call it the bubble. The people around me are not here, i am creating in my head my whole world. In this case my ipod becomes my bestfriend. So does my mean look that clear say "just leave me alone; don t walk on my feet, don t ask me where to go, don t talk to me; LEAVE ME ALONE".

As a matter of fact, the face of most of the people, most of the time in the Ubahn, I am lead to assume they have the same strategy, and that there were a lot of bad days for them.

in case of normal day, the important thing is to simply have something to distract you. That way, you won t see the guy in front of you pick his nose or you will not obsess about the screaming baby, a whole new ubahn open his doors to you if you have something to do. I recommend magazines rather than newspapers because folding and unfolding your Sueddeutsche Zeitung in the Ubahn at 7:48 is not something you can achieve without hurting or getting hurt.

you have the traditionnal mp3 player, as it is Munich, and as you want to look cool, it is most likely an ipod. You can have music, audio-books or the very great podcasts. These are broadcasted over internet. you pick the ones you want and then your Itunes will download them automatically, including any new update. You can choose any topic you like: at the moment i have two to learn German, one about french news and one about Munich and the events taking place.

In case of good days, you may just sit there and smile at the people or even just look at them, and most likely, this will make you wish you had a magazine.

Finally, with time, you get all the tricks to not let "the other people" bother you (as Sartre said l'enfer, c'est les autres) and tricks to keep your mind busy in order to let it ignore all these annoying things that are happening in front of your eyes sometimes.

You might, with time, even learn to buy the right ticket for the right destination without spending too much money (Have fun) and in the end, learn to master the strategies of front /back wagon and right/left side, as well as how not to be walked on.

When you will, it won t mean you are safe, but it will mean you may survive the city jungle without getting a nervous break down.